October Surprise!

Please note that this transcript is automatically generated and contains many inaccuracies

Disclaimer

Doodle: The Zooier Than Thou podcast contains adult concepts and language and is intended for a mature audience.

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Chorus: Zooier Than Thou!

Announcer: Visit us on the web at zoo.wtf

Intro/Emails

Toggle: Greetings fellow Zeus, and welcome to a surprise episode of Zooier Than Thou. I am Toggle your Splendiferous rat friend

Aqua: And I’m aqua, just the same little blue ball as always.

Toggle: And we’ll be your host for this mini episode. Halloween is a month away.

Aqua: Yeah, we were, uh, getting ready to release the Halloween episode and we realized that the full Moon is, way too soon.

Toggle: Yeah.

Aqua: it’s nowhere close to Halloween, and that’s lame.

Toggle: So fucking lame. Why do you wanna listen to a Halloween episode on October 6th? That’s the worst,

Aqua: This would be solved if we had 13 months in the calendar, but we’re stuck.

Toggle: Yeah. So instead, we are gonna release a mini episode today, and we are gonna postpone our Halloween episode till next week. So it’s just a little bit closer to the actual holiday.

Aqua: Makes sense to me.

Toggle: Yeah. Plus, these things take a little bit of time and we needed a little extra time to get it done

Aqua: Yeah, our Halloween episodes are traditionally very high effort with high production value, so we want to continue.

Toggle: Yeah. In the meantime today, we have some emails which we were not going to do for Halloween, and we really didn’t do a lot of last episode. This is a really nice time to, to get into the email bag, and also we have a poem that was submitted via email that didn’t quite fit into our Halloween theme this year, but we liked it and we wanted to bring it to you in this season because it’s really fitting.

So stay tuned for that a little bit later.

Aqua: Sounds good to me.

Toggle: All right. Shall we do some emails, my friend, Aqua.

Aqua: Everybody’s here might as well.

Toggle: All right. Let’s get started with an email that we pretended to start last time, but which we didn’t actually do. This email is from. “It’s HyZna, with the American form of Z, pronounced “zee.” It’s a play on words, you see, because Hyenas are a very attractive animal, and the Z indicates zoosexuality. You know, maybe there should be a limit on how many characters can be part of an alias, this might be a little annoying to read or look through. That’s fine, I’m nothing if not annoying. So, how are you? Who are you? Who’s in charge of reading the mail, anyway? I suppose that’s not my problem, but the length of this alias will most certainly be your problem, whoever you are.” They write in re Zoo 1 0 1 and they also have two questions.

Aqua: that whole thing was the alias.

Toggle: That was the alias? Yes.

Aqua: Oh, we are so capping that field. It’s okay though This is how software improves. Somebody does something to force somebody else’s hand and then it gets fixed.

Toggle: In the meantime, there’s gonna be people like, oh, I can one up that person. Let me just write a novel.

HyZna writes, “Sorry about the alias mostly.” Sorry. “Moving on. Regarding Zoo 101: Personally, and not to be too harsh, but I found that this recent episode, Zoo 101, was focused more on the gimmick of 101 questions over being a proper primer on zoosexuality as a whole. I’m not sure if that was the intent of the episode, and even if it was, it’s still a good episode, but it didn’t really scratch the informational itch I was looking for. I get that going super in depth would’ve been even more time and effort, but it’d be nice to have all the biggest and best information in one place. Is there an episode that does a zooey deep dive, or other external resources to get more academically-sourced information? Half tempted to just do it myself otherwise.” by all means.

“Question 1: There was an episode that at some point talked about the weird stuff the police use as an indication of “animal abuse,” I’ve re-listened to a few but I can’t find which one. I remember it being something to do with first aid kits and furry paraphernalia, and there was a specific person influencing that? If I could get the name, it’d be nice to spread awareness in the furry sphere and further delegitimize these practices, assuming they’re still used. Question 2: I’ve been trying out developing a romantic relationship with a human, which is weird enough as it is, but they’re thoroughly anti-zoo, something I learned from mentioning that I’d love to increase academic awareness of zoophilia. I managed to play it off as just being weird and wanting to “help” zoos (by un-zooing them), but if I were to continue developing this relationship, would that be dishonest, or immoral, even? I’m not even sure I’m into humans in the first place, honestly, but I’d hate to hurt their feelings… Final Note Addressed Specifically to Eggshell: I find you and your writing deeply inspirational, and hope some day to have half your ability. I’ve probably said this before, but it bears repeating, especially now. Thank you for taking the time to address this message (assuming it is addressed)”

All right,

Aqua: Okay. Some great questions there. Yeah.

You

Toggle: Yeah, absolutely. I was gonna start by saying if you like eggshells writing, stay tuned for the next episode because all of the little vignettes that we do, pretty much you’re done by eggshell and they’re all really wonderful and I really love them.

So you’re gonna love that. Did you wanna answer the first one,

Aqua: I’ll answer the one that wasn’t really a question, it was just a statement in the beginning. the answer is no. There isn’t a single episode that is. An authoritative source on everything you’re looking for, mainly because it would be 10 hours long and, we already get yelled at because our episodes are too long, so we’re not doing that.

Toggle: Right.

Aqua: if you listen to all of them, or at least most of them over time, you will get a pretty good picture of everything that we care about. But, yeah, there is no single resource if you want to. Try to put something like that together on your own time. That’s awesome, and we’ll try to help you do it.

Toggle: When someone was doing a zoo wiki, like a Wiki zoo type of thing, in the past, I guess that’s kind of like the. Idea that you’re going for here and compiling academic resources and stuff together. I think part of the, issue is that a lot of the academic stuff is, kind of scattered, a lot of it retreads ground, but doesn’t really have a consensus.

and so much of what’s coming out that’s new that we actually feel really good about is still coming out. Like we know about some research that hasn’t even been published yet. and so. It’s kind of hard to compile all of this academic stuff that doesn’t yet exist. so that’s another problem with that, I think.

Aqua: One of the other issues you might run into with the existing literature is that it answers a question that you don’t have. So you have to read the data and the analysis and then the, the summary at the end and figure out how that applies to what your concerns are or what you’re interested in. this has happened to us too.

in the past we’ve had research projects where. the thrust of the work answered a question that we were not so interested in or surprised by, and then, uh, the one piece of it that we were really fascinated by was just an, oh, by the way, we included measures for this other thing, and this is the number that we got.

Um, the, this is pretty normal, that it’s not anybody’s fault. It’s not like sabotage or anything else. That’s just the way it works.

Toggle: right.

Aqua: when these research projects are designed, they have to be funded and they have to be approved, and there’s a lot of people and a lot of invisible hands that touch the project before anybody else knows about it, even us.

Toggle: All right. Check out season six, episode one. for more about the trials and tribulations of researchers trying to get this stuff done. but yeah, that’s kind of the long and short of it for question one. The episode you are looking for is the Dear Non Zoos Pirate Radio episode from about two years back.

it was not the first Dear Non zoos. It was the second Dear Non Zoos episode. and that would be season five, episode six. I think it was season five, episode seven, actually. one of those two. And the person who we quoted was actually Jenny Edwards, who, uh, you may have heard her name before.

she pops up in a lot of different places and there is a recording of her on a podcast called the, what is it called,

Aqua: At the time it was called the Animal Control Report. it has since changed names and I don’t remember what the new name is, but it’s the same host and it’s the same idea.

Toggle: I think it used to be called the Animal Control Roundup, and now it’s the animal control Report or something

Aqua: No, it’s changed its name again,

Toggle: Oh, again, okay. God, yeah, it was on that podcast. She goes on for two infuriating hours about all this nonsense, uh, which includes things like furry paraphernalia, medical bags.

Et cetera, and she’s talking to actual law enforcement officers, so

great.

I just realized there’s one other episode where I think we actually played a clip of this, like we specifically played a clip and that was the Media Mastery episode from season five.

Aqua: Yes. Yep, we did do that.

Toggle: Hmm. Totally

Aqua: So you get a little taste of what she said on air.

Jenny Edwards and her list of tells once, investigators are in somebody’s home that’s furry art on the fridge, or, bedspread with a sexy lion, or, video recording equipment, funny looking exercise equipment or bondage gear. all that stuff taken together.

Yeah. Oh, that’s right, yes. Especially large or especially small, dildos that are not human penises. They’re based on animals, even if they’re fantasy animals, all of that shit. and you know, choch keys and stuff on every surface. So if you’re super into foxes and you’ve got a ton of little statues and it’s bullshit.

And this is the most offensive and scary part for a lot of us because. That’s everybody that I know,

Toggle: Right,

Aqua: including my friend’s parents. it seems like if people took Jenny’s, advice, seriously, every single person who is not straight and white and married with two and a half kids, is at risk here.

Because all of those items are very commonly found in queer households. So it seems to me that if somebody tried to use this advice to discover animal abuse, that would get challenged right away. it’s just too many people and it’s too specifically focused on queer people to be useful. surely by now because of that stupid fucking documentary, Jenny Edwards has to know something about furries at this point,

Toggle: sure she works with some furries, like we know

that she works with,

Aqua: Well, we think we know. I don’t know how much to trust anything that NAYA says about themself, but, Jenny Edwards is aware of furries. She claims to love furries and claims to be able to tell the difference. The risk is that people listening to her do not. And, it’s too early to tell what’s gonna happen with that, but I don’t think it’s gonna go anywhere.

Toggle: Well, I’ll tell you, we did tell other furries and everyone that I told was shocked and appalled, but the fact of the matter is that furries get a furry and, you know, spreading awareness about it. I don’t know. What is the, what’s the moral lesson? Be less furry so that Jeannie Edwards doesn’t, know, attack you from

under your bed at night.

Aqua: And it’s not gonna be Jenny Edwards, but the police or animal control come to your home to do some kind of wellness check and they see that you’re furry, what are you gonna do? Go. No, no, no. I’m one of the good ones. I hate zoos.

Okay. You know?

Toggle: someone’s gonna do that. Ugh.

Aqua: Yeah, it was kind of a mask off moment from our perspective, because Jenny Edwards gives lots of presentations like this, and they are very carefully tuned to the audience. So, although I don’t have access to much more than a slide deck or two that appeared online, some of her paid work, those engagements tend to be much more conservative and professional and a lot more humble.

Like, we don’t really know, but furries are probably okay. Or at one point, I think she calls them animal role players or something. Uh, the Jenny Edwards you get

Toggle: It depends on

the media,

Aqua: This is not a uniquely Jenny Edwards thing. It depends on the media and it depends on who she thinks she’s talking to.

And, this was and still is a podcast by, animal control officers for other animal control officers with the intent to try to humanize animal control as a profession.

I don’t know how successful that is. I haven’t listened to it since, but, In this episode, there we had a couple issues with, what she said on the podcast. the list of tells or indicators or like red flags, that she was giving to, investigators. one or two of those things on its own, not really a problem.

what she was trying to do was say, if you see a bunch of these things all in the same place at the same time, that could be an indicator of abuse, but. she never shared her, uh, so-called landing strip issues. the ones that she thinks are a slam dunk, I guess you have to pay for those. and all of the things that she mentioned rely on officers already having exigence or some other reason to be inside your home.

and all of them depend on you answering the door and saying anything other than nothing. What’s the lesson here?

Shut the fuck up.

Toggle: Don’t talk to cops.

Aqua: yeah, so that’s where that came from. I guess she’s still out there. I think Chandler Edwards is the company that, you know, that she works through or founded or something.

they don’t have a lot of web presence, no surprise there. but they claim to have, Taught, hundreds or at least dozens of police forces around the country, and I don’t see any reason why they would’ve stopped.

Toggle: They’re still doing it ‘cause she’s still doing interviews. She was in that documentary that came out recently. She’s there.

Aqua: Oh yeah, that documentary, I should watch that. I don’t know. I can’t seem to give a fuck.

Toggle: All right. Question number two. I’ve been trying out development and human. Okay, so this relationship that you’ve been trying with this anti zoo?

Aqua: Friend zone

a hundred percent. Yeah. I’m Definitely friend zoning that personally I don’t think it’s dishonest to like stall that conversation for later. There is, you know, I have some friends of mine who I know are uncomfortable with the idea of real zoophilia, but really good friends.

Toggle: I wouldn’t date them though, ‘cause that’s a much more intimate relationship

Aqua: Yeah. What concerns me here is that you say that you’re not even sure you’re into humans in the first place.

Toggle: Yeah.

Aqua: this is not. The human partner that I would start with, you didn’t say whether you’re, male or female, but, it’s very difficult for me to imagine like, if you’re male, I don’t think your dick is gonna show up.

You know what I mean?

Toggle: Yeah. I

Aqua: Uh, it’s gonna be so tough to get out of your head knowing, that your intimate partner has a really big problem with something about you that you can’t change.

Toggle: Yeah. And then the other thing is like you’re talking about not wanting to hurt their feelings. The longer this goes, I feel like the more likely you are to hurt their feelings and the more bitter it can be. Um. So I would be very, be very gently like, Hey, you know what, I’m not, I don’t feel like I’m ready for a relationship, or, you know, whatever.

Because that’s, that’s where it sounds like you’re really at, it’s not dishonest to say that. but I do wanna be friends.

Aqua: it depends on how long this has already been going on, right? If it’s only been a date or two or something, then I don’t think you owe them much more than a text message saying, sorry, I’m not into it. See you out Therian. And that’s the end of it. but the longer you’re involved. Like you, you can only text message breakup for a very short time in the beginning.

After that, you’re just an asshole. right. So you wouldn’t wanna do this if it’s been three months, six months, certainly not six months. so the longer this goes on, the harder it is to disengage and, uh, the bigger a setback it’s going to be for this other person who. By all accounts, probably doesn’t think they’ve done anything wrong. at the moment.

I don’t think you owe them a real truthful explanation. I don’t think you have to tell them. It’s because their position on Zoophilia is, not something that you can, tolerate.

Toggle: I mean, honestly, it really just sounds like you’re not sure if you’re even ready for a relationship with a human. And that’s a good enough reason to be like, let’s slow this down. So that’s what we think. but we are of course not the authority here. aren’t your conscience be your guide, but also don’t be afraid to do this because you think you’re gonna hurt their feelings.

Aqua: Yeah, I would offer the friend zone and see what happens.

Toggle: Hi, Zena with a Z. Just pronounce Z. It’s a play on words you see. Thanks for writing in and I hope we answered your questions.

Aqua: our next email comes from Cervuus Doe. Uh, the subject is, I demand more politics, Cervuus writes:

“I know I’m not alone when I say that the show needs more politics! Talking about pup hoods? I need to hear everyone’s opinions on the regulation of interstate commerce! Deep dive into everyone’s feelings about sourcing materials from small vs large businesses. Tell me which prospective 2028 US presidential candidate is in the pocket of Big Neoprene.

Zoo Pride week? Month? We’re talking about months here? It’s about time ZTT takes on the topic of calendar reform. Does your representative support the old Gregorian calendar? It’s time to get some new blood in here! I’ve had enough of the elitist scientists telling us that we have to have leap days, leap seconds, etc.. When they say leap, I say ‘it is my personal freedom to stay right here on the ground, thank you very much!’”

Toggle: Hear, hear!

Aqua: “Yeah, I’m vegan, and I want to tell everyone else that they’re not vegan enough! Riding in cars? Fossil fuels exploit our dinosaur friends! Beer? Did you ask the yeast first? It’s about time that we take this activism to another level!

Or we could all just chill and understand that we’re in a world where politics affect us every day and it’s only natural for that to be expressed in a casual conversation sometimes. But that would just be silly.

With the utmost, unquestionable sincerity, Cervuus Doe (she/her… and about these dang pronouns…)”

Toggle: What an excellent email.

Aqua: man.

Toggle: so much fun.

Aqua: Yep.

Toggle: Surface Door is writing because obviously we’ve had some backlash to you having political themes, in some of the episodes. But, uh, as she does say, like, these things affect us, they affect people we love. And so we talk about ‘em and they affect zoos too.

You know, I don’t know if anyone knows this, a French news, like I think it’s more of a tabloid, but a French newspaper slash tabloid has linked the Charlie Kirk Killer to Zoo affiliate in their headline. So

Aqua: Oh my God.

Toggle: how are we not affected by that?

Aqua: Oh wait, I remember this one. It’s because he was playing like furry games on steam or something, and

Toggle: Right. They called it a zoophile game. Yeah.

Aqua: We know how the French tabloids, feel about furries, don’t we?

Toggle: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Aqua: Excellent.

Toggle: So it’s already come. It’s already come to Charlie Kirk’s killer was a zoophile, and so this stuff is, is gonna affect us. But fear not. Fear not. Dear listeners, our next episode has absolutely no politics or any sort of political leaning in it. Whatsoever so you can enjoy our Halloween episode without getting angry about those damn leftists, those damn leftist zoos.

Aqua: Yeah, we’re not gonna shy away from politics when we need to say something. and that’s gonna be pretty often, but time and a place. And, it’s tiring for us too. We don’t always wanna do this. There’s a lot of fun to be had making these shows and, we don’t wanna be forced into one particular, subject or routine. we like experimenting. you know, if You run into an episode that you don’t like, that’s okay. The next one might be for you.

Toggle: Great, and we hope the next episode is for everyone, so please tune in and bring your tissue boxes. We’re really excited about the next one. But yes, service dough. Thank you so much. obviously you kind of get it. We live in a world where politics affect us every day, so sometimes it’s just gonna come up.

Aqua: For writing in service.

Toggle: our next email is from Husky On Wheels, who says, “Henlo!”

“Henlo, Zoo frens,” Husky on Wheels writes.

I’ve been aware of the ZooTT podcast for several years (I listened to the episode featuring the Dr. Miletski interview not long after it came out, as I bought and enjoyed her book when was first published) but didn’t get around to listening to it properly it until a couple of weeks ago when a zoo friend of mine played the most recent Howloween Special to me on a long car journey. I’ve since listened to all of Seasons 6, 5 and 4 on a ‘trickle down’ basis and have just started on season 3. I expect to have listened to every main episode within the next week or so, as I am on my own in my truck for long periods for most of the working week; if only the other drivers knew what I was listening to :3

I’m a fortysomething UK-based zoo who has been involved in the online zooey community since the early 2000s, when I had recently left home and was lonely and confused, going online for the first time in order to find other zoos and make friends with with them, which I successfuly did on a long-defunct forum called the BeastBoard, on which I ended up becoming a moderator for quite a while. I really wish that we had a resource like the ZooTT podcast back then, as I feel that it would have helped a lot of zoos - including myself - find their way a lot quicker and easier than they actually did, and for many reasons would probably have saved an awful lot of grief in later years. Apart from Ebon Lupus’ and Actaeon’s websites, I can’t recall many online zoo resources back then which weren’t just all about having sex with animals.

I accepted that I am zoo exclusive many years ago and am comfortable with both myself and my sexuality; I believe that I was born a zoo as I have been deeply attracted to dogs in every way since I was very young. I love dogs and they love me :)

Sadly, my job means that I cannot have a canine partner at present, but for the past two decades I have lived my dog life vicariously (and mainly platonically) through various zoo friends’ dogs, which has been a great source of joy and comfort for me over the years. I plan to bring a dog into my life eventually, probably a Border Collie boy when I retire fom work, so that we can grow old and fat together ^^

Anyway, keep up the good work, stay defiant, and keep on trucking!

All the best,

HoW ^^”

Husky on Wheels.

Aqua: Oh

Toggle: Yeah. You said you remember the BS sport. I’ve never heard of bs.

Aqua: yeah. I’m thinking back and wondering if maybe, uh, in a past life I. I got into an argument with this particular moderator because that was definitely a thing when I was young and a jerk. it’s not impossible, but yeah, it’s like that’s also around the time when I could see how paranoid and creepy and sex focused a lot of forums were, and I just was not super interested in that.

And,

I wasn’t really, I wasn’t very active, pretty much from. Yeah, from like 2002 or three, up until about eight or 10 years ago, it just wasn’t really a thing.

Toggle: Yeah, well it looks like they kind of also felt a little bit like, there’s a lot of horniness on the internet right now

and they were looking for a

little something

Aqua: Yeah, I mean, it’s always gonna be

Toggle: right. We have horny sometimes. I remember acting on site too, and I remember thinking, wow, this is really different. and I also remember, some instructional guides and some stories that, seemed to blurb between fiction and advice, and, some other very strong opinions about horses.

Aqua: yeah. But it’s, it’s also probably a product of its time in the nineties. there weren’t really the same concerns that we have. zoophilia bestiality in particular didn’t really receive as much attention that it does now. it existed. It had been accidentally decriminalized in the United States when all of the sodomy laws were dropped.

and it took a while to, uh, correct that.

Toggle: Correct

is the right word. I don’t think so.

Aqua: Yeah. but there was this period where, it was not illegal in most or all of the United States.

and that was, you know, that, fact, I mean, that was true alongside anti cruelty, laws that were already in place. So I guess the thought was, well, if it’s ever discovered.

There is a legal path, for some justice. but there wasn’t anything else. It, it really, it didn’t happen until there was some pretty big, nationwide scandals, involving certain people. Do, do, Yep.

Toggle: Anyway. Yeah, it’s nice to hear another zoo trucker as well. We do love our trucker friends. I know quite a few now. so it’s pretty cool.

Aqua: Yeah, I’m guessing, uh, there really isn’t such thing as long haul trucking in the uk. it probably exists, but nothing like it would in the United States

where you go cross country and it’s 3000 miles.

Toggle: Scott, how big is the uk? It’s like the size of Pennsylvania or something like, I don’t know.

Aqua: It’s not a lot. Um, definitely not enough to justify a sleeper cab.

Toggle: Yeah, I don’t know. I’m not sure how trucking works in the uk. I do know in the US that long haul trucking is like thousands of miles,

like thousands of

Aqua: and Husky could also just, I mean it might not even be trucking the way I’m thinking of it. he might be a tradesman and just have a work fan.

Toggle: Well, we definitely appreciate you guys,. So if you are on the road listening to all of our episodes in quick Succession, come say hi. We’d love to hear from you.

Aqua: It’s gonna be really fun when you get to the first season.

Toggle: Lord have mercy. I feel like the first season was so rough.

Aqua: At least the episodes were short.

Toggle: Some of them. Some of them were not. All right, husky on wheels. Thanks for riding in. We loved hearing from you and we hope to hear from you again, after you’ve finished all the episodes and hopefully you’ve caught up to season seven as well by now.

Aqua: All right. Our last email for today comes from Gerald, and the subject is Death as a Zoo

“Brief about me, 50M straight, active zoo with mares and bitches. I’m curious about what zoos or even furries do to plan for their eventual passing. As a younger pup I always told people I was going to live forever, and I still do, but now that I’m past 50 and have watched many family members age and die I do sometimes ponder what will happen after I’m gone. And what I ponder is not only what will happen to my animals, but also how people think of me. Most, but not all of my friends know I’m zoo. My 2 remaining close family members do not know I’m zoo. I will most likely pass before my mother so that leaves my sister. I have some lewd furry art on my bedroom walls, some of it fairly feral but not zooy. I also have some printed furry stuff and a bit of printed zoo stuff from way back in the times before HD displays in every persons pocket. And of course, every device I own, my phones and laptop have a large assortment of zoo stuff. All of my devices are password protected and I dont think they are guessable passwords so I dont expect anyone will discover my zoo stuff on my electronics after I pass. Overall, I’m not super concerned about what people will discover or think after I’m gone, but I do wonder about others. Do people slowly erase their zoo/furry evidence as they get closer to the end? Do people worry about the safety of their animals if it is discovered that their departed owner was sexually involved with them? Do you worry about your grandchildren finding your old VHS tapes of Men and mares? On a side note, does anyone know the story of Petlust? How did they get away with filming like that? I’d love an entire episode dedicated to that topic. But back to the other, do you have a porn buddy sworn to sneak into your home and erase all evidence of your zooyness upon your death? it’s just something that I ponder sometimes. If you have never heard of it before, look up the brittish tv show coupling, the episode called porn buddies. it’s hilarious. Thanks for reading this. AWOOooooo!”

Toggle: And I haven’t thought of coupling in like years.

God, have you seen coupling before?

Aqua: not this millennia.

It’s been a while.

Toggle: the one that I remember the most is the one that’s in, that’s told in like two different languages where like the one guy kind of falls in love with this person who doesn’t speak the same language and you see their conversation from both of their perspectives, but like one of them.

You can’t understand. And the other one is speaking English in their scenes. Really

fascinating bit of tv. Yeah, it was really good.

Aqua: idea.

Toggle: Oh God. Yeah. it’s super interesting. that’s the episode I remember. I don’t remember porn buddies, but I’ve definitely heard of this concept of having someone swoop in and delete all your unmentionables

Aqua: I know a lot of people that have a smut pact.

Toggle: smut packed. That’s good.

Aqua: Okay, Gerald? I have some, thoughts about this. I know people who have no plan and they’re totally okay with it because their philosophy is they’re dead. It’s not their problem anymore. They don’t care. but I can understand why you might want to clean up a little bit just to spare your friends and family, some shock, especially right after they’ve lost you.

I think that’s fine. But, I think the way that I would approach this is I wouldn’t start deleting things that’s super fucking depressing to me and yeah, just don’t, there’s gonna be so many other things you’d rather be doing, in your, your final years. Like That should be at the bottom of the list, man.

what I would do instead. Is get smarter about organizing your stuff. I would separate your furry porn and your zoo porn maybe from each other, but mainly both of those things together from anything else that you think your friends and family would be interested in having to preserve your memory. So that would be like normal photos or stories or whatever, and that can be protected on your computers and your phones in the usual way.

Apple has a concept of a legacy contact, which is a trusted person that you can pick who has the rights to access your account after your death. If you don’t have something like that set up, it’s extremely difficult to get Apple or Google to, release an account to somebody else. it’s very hard.

Even Facebook is strict about this. They won’t let just anybody into a, Facebook page that isn’t theirs. like even if they’re presented with, proof, like a death certificate and proof of kinship, it’s, uh, it’s no guarantee. But separate your furry porn in your zoo porn from everything else.

Encrypt it with a different password, set it somewhere else on a different drive, and then when the time comes and you’re gone. before that happens, you can have decided whether to share that password with a trusted friend so that they can have access to that data for whatever reason.

Like if you were involved in research or if there was some really good stories in there or something and you wanna share that because it’s cool, great. but you also have the choice not to share that password and it can just disappear with everything else. That’s how I would handle it. as far as like grandchildren, finding old VHS tapes, I find that hilarious. Um,

Toggle: our listeners who are like 20 and 21 are like,

fuck.

Aqua: yeah, there’s a good chance that they’re just gonna have this relic of analog media and they’re not gonna have any fucking idea what it is or how to play it. Just imagine the embarrassment of taking that to like a data archivist or, uh, like somebody who collects VHS players and they’re like, we wanna know what’s on this.

And it turns out to be bestiality Absolutely priceless. I feel like I would go out of my way to set that landmine, but but you never know.

Toggle: Right, and I mean, to be honest, for most people, you don’t know when you’re going to die. So this idea of like slowly deleting things as you get closer to dying, that you have a clock that tells you when you’re gonna die. You know, even fucking Fausty when he died of cancer, like it gave him two weeks, he died the next day. And we have never gotten into his computer because he did not leave anything behind for us to do that with. cause he didn’t have time to prepare even though he knew he had cancer and he knew he was dying.

So

Aqua: Yeah.

Toggle: you never know. If you wanna prep, you should prep now. And it doesn’t need to be this weird, depressing thing of this death march, you salting the earth before I lie down in it, you know?

Aqua: yeah. Don’t do that to yourself, Gerald. Either decide that you don’t give a fuck, and that’s the end of it. Maybe enter into a, a smut packed with a close friend so that they can, hop over to your place and get rid of the two foot silicone horse dildo, you know, and the obvious stuff. But otherwise, I don’t think it’s worth.

Worrying too much. I know you said you ponder this and you don’t worry about it, but, you know, give it a little bit of time here and there, but, don’t let it dominate. just, separate your data. set aside the things that you know, you want to be available to whoever goes looking for it. and secure the rest and, if it dies with you, okay?

That’s a perfectly normal human thing.

Toggle: For your other question, how did Pet Lust do it? We kind of said it earlier. It was technically legal. It wasn’t illegal in the United States to film bestiality. At least it wasn’t illegal to do that, You could feasibly get in trouble for something like that, but it wouldn’t be because it was bestian.

You know what I mean?

And it also depended on the state.

Aqua: I can look it up.

I am, I think the only two states, left in the United States where there is no law prescribing. Or outlawing bestiality. I think it’s West Virginia. and, like the District of Columbia, which isn’t a state, so maybe there’s another one out there,

but

Toggle: Yeah. And at the time, pet Less was being filmed. It was 50 states and federally where bestiality was not technically illegal. So that’s why now that we’ve thought about death and got sadden stuff. Let’s keep going. Thank you so much for writing in Gerald. It was a very thoughtful question that you had, um, around Halloween.

I believe last year and I wanted to save it for the Halloween episode. , But I knew we weren’t gonna fit it in, so I really wanted to make sure we had this chance to answer your questions.

Aqua: Oh, one other thing for you, Gerald. as part of your organization effort, please do consider not having bestiality on your smartphone. That is the absolute worst place to have it.

Toggle: in

Aqua: If you’re ever in any kind of legal trouble or if something happens and your phone is unlocked, just don’t pull that thread.

if you’ve got other computers, leave it there.

Toggle: Yep. That’s a good, that’s very good advice that we have seen. Needed to have been heated

a couple of times.

Aqua: Yep.

Toggle: No best yelling on your phone, people. All right. Up next, we have a poem that was, brought to us for this Halloween episode. Someone emailed it in. it’s really good. I’m really excited to share it with you.

so get in that Halloween spirit and prepare for next week when we go on an Akai journey into the veil. that’ll be fun.

Aqua: I am so ready.

Toggle: Don’t forget that you can subscribe to the podcast via our zoo r ss feed. Visit [email protected]. you can also subscribe to our bonus feed bonus zoo.wtf. Did you know this episode is both in our R ss feed and in our bonus feed? We put it in both. ‘cause we don’t think you listen to the bonus feed, but there’s cool stuff there.

So go ahead and give it a shot. And we’ll see you next time. You feel like how I of the moon give it to me Aqua.

Aqua and Toggle: Awooo!

Zoo Poetry Theater - “The Last Laugh”

Doodle: And now it’s time for Zoo Poetry Theater.

Zoophile: Lo here I stand: the laws forbid,

Yet priests still dream of what I did;

They curse the Zoo with holy frown,

Then sneak to kennels of their own.

They preach of virtue, cold, austere,

While trembling lips conceal their leer.

I’d rather bear a laughing brand,

Than clasp their pious, empty hand.

They call us beasts, a grave offense.

Their virtue’s brittle, counterfeit.

Yet what is man, if not confused?

And what is Zoo, if not amused?

They call it sin, a shameful thing.

I call it joy, a holy ring.

And if this leash offends your view,

The trouble’s yours. The laugh is Zoo.

They preach the Zoo should bow his head,

And keep to silence, leash, and dread.

But collars shine much more, I find,

When worn with laughter, not with mind.

The magistrates, in wigs of snow,

Proclaim what love we may not show;

But when the gavel cracks with spite,

I’m knotted still, and knotted right.

Lo, here I sit, condemned, disgraced,

With leash upon my neck well placed;

The hangman laughs, the crowd delights,

And envies what I did last night.

The priests insist I’m bound for pain,

A beast, a crime, a human stain.

But Zoo is simply what I am,

And laughing’s worth their final damn.

The hangman says my leash is sin,

And swears he’ll strip it from my skin;

But tug it once, he gasps, he moans

And begs to try it on his own.

The World may call our joy obscene,

But joy has teeth; it bites full keen.

And though they’ll write our epitaph,

‘Tis us, not them, who get to laugh.

So let them preach their godly wrath,

And curse the joy that marks our path.

But laughter’s worth their every stone:

A Zoo is damned, but ne’er alone.

If Heaven bars its gates to me,

For laughing, loving wild and free,

Then Hell can fetch a leash and chair:

I’ll knot with friends already there.

Doodle: This has been Zoo Poetry Theater.